How to Get Married in Ancient China

Historical Development#

In the early days, marriage was often a way to form alliances between tribes. Polygamy was common among the nobility, and there were strict rules regarding incest.
The concept of match - making began to emerge, with parents and match - makers arranging marriages to ensure social and economic compatibility.

Confucianism became the dominant ideology, which emphasized the importance of proper marriage rituals. The six - step marriage process, or "Liu Li," was formalized during this period.
Marriage was seen as a means to continue the family line and serve the ancestors. Women's roles in marriage were clearly defined as subordinate to men.

This was a more liberal period. There was more freedom in courtship, and women had relatively more rights in marriage. Inter - ethnic marriages were also more common due to the open - door policy of the Tang Empire.

Confucianism was revived, and the traditional marriage system became more rigid. Women's status declined further, and foot - binding, which limited women's mobility, became associated with marriageability.

The six - step marriage process was strictly followed. Arranged marriages were the norm, and family honor was closely tied to proper marriage arrangements. Divorce was extremely difficult, especially for women.

Proposal (Na Cai): The groom's family sent a match - maker to the bride's family to propose the marriage.
Asking for the Name (Wen Ming): The match - maker asked for the bride's full name and birth date to check for astrological compatibility.
Divination (Na Ji): The groom's family consulted a fortune - teller to determine if the marriage would be auspicious.
Presenting Betrothal Gifts (Na Zheng): The groom's family sent gifts, such as silk, jewelry, and food, to the bride's family as a sign of commitment.
Selecting the Wedding Date (Qing Qi): The groom's family chose an auspicious date for the wedding after consulting with the bride's family.
Wedding Ceremony (Qin Ying): The groom went to the bride's home to escort her to his home. There were elaborate rituals during the ceremony, including bowing to heaven and earth, the ancestors, and each other.

Marriage was often used to strengthen family connections and social status. Families would try to marry their children into families of similar or higher social standing.
In large extended families, the opinions of elders, especially the grandparents and parents, were crucial in marriage decisions.

The bride's family provided a dowry, which included items like clothing, furniture, and sometimes land. It was a way to ensure the bride's economic security in her new family.
The groom's family paid a bride price, which was a form of compensation to the bride's family for raising the bride.

His teachings on family, marriage, and social order had a profound influence on the marriage system in ancient China. Confucius emphasized the importance of filial piety, proper rituals, and the roles of men and women in marriage.

Her rule was an exception in the traditional male - dominated society. During her reign, there was more room for women's participation in social and political life, which also had an impact on marriage customs. For example, there was relatively more freedom in courtship and women's status in marriage was relatively higher.

In ancient Rome, marriage was also an important social institution, but the emphasis was more on legal rights and property transfer. Unlike in ancient China, Roman women had more legal rights in marriage, such as the right to own and inherit property.
In medieval Europe, arranged marriages were common among the nobility, similar to ancient China. However, the religious aspect in European marriages was more prominent, with the Church playing a central role in the marriage ceremony.

Many traditional Chinese marriage customs are still practiced today, especially in rural areas and during traditional weddings. The importance of family in marriage decisions and the significance of rituals are deeply ingrained in Chinese culture.
The concept of filial piety, which was closely related to marriage in ancient China, still influences family relationships in modern Chinese society.
The traditional view of gender roles in marriage, although changing, still has an impact on modern Chinese family dynamics.

Readers interested in going deeper could explore the specific marriage customs in different regions of ancient China, as there were regional variations.
Studying the literature and art of different periods can also provide more insights into the romantic and social aspects of marriage in ancient China.
Comparing the marriage systems of different ethnic groups within China throughout history would be another interesting area of research.

Ebrey, Patricia Buckley. The Inner Quarters: Marriage and the Lives of Chinese Women in the Sung Period. University of California Press, 1993.
Gates, Hill. China's Motor: A Thousand Years of Petty Capitalism. Cornell University Press, 1996.